You can't motorboat a personality
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
