I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
