i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize