is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
