im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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