we're blogging at a bar
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize