Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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