hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
