I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
