i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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