he thought i was a dude.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
