I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
