in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
