Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
