I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
