I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
