No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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