Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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