It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
