WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
