Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
