I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
