We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
