READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
