K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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