ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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