Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
