I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
