Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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