party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
