Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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