I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
