My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
