I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
