Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
