I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
