I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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