32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
