what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
