I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
