foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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