Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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