3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have feelings that need drinking.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
