I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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