I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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