maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
