So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
