Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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