Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
