its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
