Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need water and some morals
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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