Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
