it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
