i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize