porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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