your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
