how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to have your abortion
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
